All These Things (6): Writing crap, and Current stuff

So I’ve been trying to write a post for the past few days, but everything I write seems blah. This is also happening in my fiction writing. Are you familiar with that feeling, too? I know what’s going to happen, and it all sounds good in my head but it’s all feels like crap when I write it down. I’ve been rereading some local romance books and some of my favorite books in hopes of making the magic happen, but the words that come out are still awkward. :/

I have several theories why that is happening, though. One, it might be because I am right smack in the middle of the story and we all know how I feel about middles. Two, I’ve been doing a lot of editing at my day job so it’s a bit hard to get rid of my editor mindset — now I understand what my friends who write for a living were saying about writing for a living and writing for fun. And three, I  guess this is the time where I’m supposed to just keep writing, so I’m still trudging on. (It helps when my manager at work actually encouraged me on this.)

There may be other reasons why the novel is so hard to write right now – art imitating life, life imitating art, or the lack of it, that kind of jazz. It could be that the novel is really just making me take my time instead of rushing, but I won’t know until I just keep writing. So I’m going to battle with the writing demons again this weekend (and also work on editing some overdue reflections). Wish me luck.

Onto other stuff, I’m adopting a meme that I found on several blogs, but I think this is the source? It’s not Sunday, though, but I’m going to do it today anyway, because it’s Friday. (Did not make sense, but hey. :P)

Right Here, Right Now.

Reading

(un)breakable by Kesh Tanglao. Rereading, actually, because like I said, I need words. And feels. Also, still reading John Paul the Great: His Five Loves by Jason Evert, which I want to savor. And The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammet, but I am stuck somewhere halfway and I kind of want to quit reading it because I’m just not engaged. The problem is, people say it’s good and I am still curious to how this will end.

Writing

Still Novel # 2. Still at the end of Act 2, and ugh, words. So awkward.

Also need to write a presentation for work and edit a bunch of reflections.

Listening

Bakit Part 2 by Mayonnaise. I used to listen to this band all the time back in college and I remember loving this song and Bakit Part 1, too. Because ugh, this song! </3

Ngunit bakit, pinilit,
kung ayaw ko’ng masaktan?

Thinking

About what to get when I go to the grocery after work. I hope there’s good fruit at the store later. And greens!

Smelling

This Green Tea Hand and Nail Creme by BeautyFix that I got from Watson’s. I’m not a huge huge fan of green tea, but this smells nice. Not a fan of the whitening part, though.

Wishing

For this work issue to be closed before my manager asks for an update (because it’s so nice when you send an email that it’s all fixed before he even asks). Also for my sprained ankle to completely heal so I can run again.

And yes, I wish for the right words to write those parts of my novel, so I can finish this thing.

Wearing

My current favorite pair of jeans, the blue and white CFC collared shirt and black Chucks. Speaking of Chucks, I’m curious about the upgrade they did to the design. Yay, cushion!

And another thing on the shirt – I’ve received some “Hello, you’re from the community” comments from random strangers whenever I wear this shirt…although I think this makes people assume that I’m already married because of the CFC logo. Erm…

Loving

My morning sessions at the Adoration Chapel in our parish. I’ve started going there this week because of this article, and because I felt like I needed more inner peace especially with all the changes happening around me. There’s no Adoration Chapel near the office, so I had to go out of my way to visit the one in our village before heading for work.

You know how they say that you’ll find a friend waiting for you in the Blessed Sacrament? Well, last Monday, on my first day of going to Adoration, the moment I came in the chapel, I looked at the Blessed Sacrament, and felt as if Jesus was saying, “Hi.” Like I was someone that He was so excited to see and spend time with. :)

I would like to make this a habit. I want to be committed to this early morning dates with Jesus. It’s nice to start the day like this. :)

Wanting

For my Book Depository package to arrive. I ordered a book about Saints, which I have been wanting to read for a while now. I also want to read more about saints, ever since I listened to this Jason Evert recording on why it’s so great to be Catholic. Saints are awesome, yo.

Needing

To quit overthinking the work emails I send and just be more confident with my emails. No one is out to get me, and my contribution is appreciated. Left brain, right brain.

Feeling

Really thrilled because I was able to avail of Uber’s #UberIceCream promo. Yay!

Happy Friday, friends!