Category: Dear Diary

Also known as: Some thoughts after meeting college friends last night

I met some of my college friends last night for dinner, swinging from mid shift to day just so I can meet up with them despite the fact that I ended my shift last Monday at one o’clock because of a call and got to sleep at 3:00am because of some family stuff. I was a walking zombie in the day that needed to be caffeinated twice. However, come afternoon, I was excited to see my college friends again, so despite the sluggishness, I headed for Shangrila.

A little backgrounder about my college friends. Normally, you’d have only one original block in college, the people who you will know first and probably graduate with if all of you are lucky. It was a slightly different case for me. I had an original block that lasted for two terms (my adventures and such with them may be written in another post). By third term, our block was dissolved, and then by sophomore year, we were all split into different specializations. I specialized in Instructional Systems Technology in college, and it was one of the smaller specializations in our college, with only one block. We were only 36 in our batch, and because of that, we were a pretty close bunch. They became my second college family.

Just a week ago,  our specialization had a New Year’s/Reunion party, where we saw most of the people in the batch as well as the other batches. Then our batch planned a little dinner where I use our newly-wed blockmate Ramie as an excuse to meet up. :P Only a few of us made it, last night, though, but nevertheless, it was still a fun night.

The funny thing about my college friends – especially my thesis mates Rye, Ramie and Micko – is how our conversations evolve throughout the years. I remember in college, we’d talk about school stuff, obviously. When we’re taking a break, we’d talk about mundane stuff. Soon after we graduated, we were having coffee one day and we started talking about taxes even if none of us were working yet. Now that we’re together again, what do we talk about? Growing up stuff. The average salary of someone our age. Following your dreams. The best online tax software.  Deciding what to do next. Do you really love what you’re doing? Will you give up your stability for something you’d love to do?

It was a very serious conversation, and enlightening, too. I’m not exactly in a crisis mode in my career, but I’ve been feeling the edges of…I don’t know, unrest? I still like my job, and I think my company is still taking care of me, but a part of me wonders if there’s more out there, you know?

Case in point: when my best friend got the opportunity to go to UK for an exchange program, I was very envious. I wanted the same opportunity, too. I wanted to try new things and do all those things that I know I wanted to do before I joined the corporate world. But a part of me is also thinking: will you be able to file a leave of absence for that long to pursue the same thing? Or will you actually have the courage to resign from your job, do that, and then see what happens after? Can I be at peace knowing that there’s no steady income coming in and there’s no assurance of a job when I go back?

I guess the real reason I am hesitant to do things like this (or even other things like study abroad or something similar) is because I’m used to having a steady income. I’m used to having my own money, used to affording what I want when I want it (as long as its reasonable). But what’s life with just that? I’m young — I should be able to do more stuff now before it’s too late, right? If I may borrow Stacie Orrico’s words: there’s got to be more to life!

I aired those concerns last night and I liked how our friend Kiran put it: everyone gets to this point, and at one point in your life, you’re going to have to decide. Then, she told me it usually happens when one reaches 25.

Me: Oh, no wonder.

Kiran: Are you twenty five?

Me: No, but I’m turning twenty five on March.

Kiran: Oh, you’ll get there soon.

So I guess the magical age is 25? I have two months and five days to go.

But I don’t really want to stress about that. I can feel it, but I don’t think it would do me good if I stress about it over and over again, you know? And like what Kiran said, these things just happen. And it will be okay.

A thought: this is probably one of the reasons why I’m far from settling down. :P

When Ramie dropped me at Eastwood after the dinner, he hugged me goodbye and said, “May this be the year of answered prayers for you.” He meant something else entirely (and trust me, that will be posted here someday soon) but as I was thinking about it on the way home, I realized that God has never failed to answer my prayers anyway. He always has. He always will. It may not be always the answer I wanted, but He has never failed to answer them.

But I like that. 2011: the year of answered prayers. Maybe I need to be more aware of how God answers my prayers? :)

So from the looks of it, 2011 will be THE year. The year of what, I’m not sure exactly. But I am looking forward to finding out.

First two items on the list: practice driving and start fixing papers for Schengen Visa for WYD. Yes siree, let’s get moving. :)