In His Steps – Page 10

12 Things About 2012

December 27, 2012December 28, 2012 Tina 3 Comments

Ah. Can you believe that 2013 is almost upon us? It’s so cliche, but I can’t believe 2012 is almost over, when it really feels like it just flew by. Of course there were months that seemed to last forever (I’m looking at you, August and November), but in general everything seemed…I dunno, different.

Wait, I think I always say that about my years.

So if I were to give a theme for 2012, what would it be? Well, my word of the year is love. I can’t say that I was completely loving this yearÂ because I know I wasn’t. But as I have been sharing with my friends in various Christmas dinners this year, I shared that 2012 is the year when I learned to love. Not just romantic love, but love in general. I’m far from an expert, of course, but 2012 was the year that I think God taught me so much about my heart and I am surprised that I even thought I knew myself before.

All in all, 2012 was pretty…good. It was, it was. If I look back at this year, I think I will always look back at this year with fondness, maybe just a little bit more than 2011.

And because we like numbers, and playing with them, ((Or, not really. I don’t like Math.)) here’s 12 things about my 2012:

2012 is the year of community. One of my goals for this year is to go back to my church community, and I think it was the only goal I actually reached. I am really glad that I found a new spiritual family, and that I have started attending households/small groups again! And I even have a household of my own! :) Other than my church community, I also found myself surrounded by more people who I have learned to really love. They’re people who would cry with you, celebrate with you and would pray for your heart. They’re people you have history with, and you wouldn’t mind building even more history with them too. If you were a part of one of these communities (you know who you are), I just want to you know: I love you. <3 I am so blessed by your presence in my life this year. :)
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Stillness

December 24, 2012December 28, 2012 Tina 1 Comment

Also known as: Pondering stillness

December has been crazy, and if I am seeing things right, it will prove to be busy up until the end of the year. It’s not unusual that it’s crazy, but it just seems crazier this year. It’s not just the parties and the shopping and year-end work, but it’s also crazy in other aspects that I kind of wish I don’t have to deal with them. Or that I could opt out from them and not take responsibility and all that.

But alas. That’s a part of being intentional, I guess.

Anyway. Last week, I went to a party with my new(ish) SFC chapter. It was my first Christmas party with them, and probably my first actual Christmas party with the community again, ((I had a party last year with my WYD friends, but it wasn’t the kind of party that we had last week)) and as with many community events this year, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Somewhere in the program, we watched a video about Christmas and then we were asked, What is the meaning of Christmas for you?

It should be easy to answer, but I found myself fumbling for one because I haven’t asked that question to myself for the longest time. I’ve always loved Christmas, and I’ve always celebrated it with much gusto. I’ve always held our traditions dear, I loved giving gifts (even if sometimes I cannot afford them), and in some strange way, I actually also enjoy the holiday rush. ((Just a little bit. Very little)) But I guess it’s true that when you grow older, it’s easier to lose touch with what Christmas means. Or somehow, the meaning of Christmas changes, and the things we believe and hold dear when we were younger becomes entirely different. Not wrong, but just different.

So back to the question: What is the meaning of Christmas for me?

Brave Heart

November 19, 2012November 20, 2012 Tina 1 Comment

Also known as: On the heart being stronger and braver than we expect

I was reading some of my recent entries and I had to chuckle at how much I was a mess when I wrote them. I don’t think it’s really obvious except if you knew me personally and you knew the reasons why I wrote those entries back then. It’s just funny how different things are now, and it’s not even that long after. But I guess that’s life.

So I started praying the rosary again. I prayed the rosary everyday last Lent, and then I stopped because Lent was over, but I pray it every now and then, especially when I’m having a hard time staying still. Or when I’m panicking. Especially when I’m panicking. And then some things happened in the past weeks that made me start praying the rosary again every night, and it’s actually nice to take some time off and do that. My concentration is often shot, but the effort is there, and I think that counts. :)

I was praying the rosary last week before I slept, and one of the Luminous Mystery reflections talked about spiritual courage. I offered the mystery for several intentions and I started thinking about what the reflection said about spiritual courage. Then I found myself saying: Lord, teach me how to love and how to be brave.

And then I got the good shivers.