In His Steps – Page 22

I See Love

April 24, 2011April 22, 2011 Tina Leave a comment

Also known as: Easter

With your last breath
I see love
Through your death
I see love
I see peace in the eyes of the king
I see hope in your suffering
I see a calm in the center of the storm
I see a Saviour

I see love
Light of heaven breaking through
I see grace
I see God’s face
Shining pure and perfect love
When I see you

Some see Him walking from an empty grave. ((I See Love by Steven Curtis Chapman, Mercy Me and Third Day))

This is my favorite Sunday of all Sundays. :) Alleluia. Jesus has risen! :)

There’s no place like home

April 4, 2011April 4, 2011 Tina 6 Comments

Also known as: Moving back to our new-old house

I made sure I was free from any activities last weekend, not only because I was already running short on funds (payday is still 10 days away, sigh),Â but because we were finally, finally moving back to our old house.

My family and I have lived in a one-floor house all our lives, and we were pretty okay about it. My parents didn’t feel the need to have a second floor because we’re not a big family, anyway, and even if our village is flood-prone during typhoon season in the Philippines, our street was pretty much flood-free. That all changed when Typhoon Ondoy (International name Ketsana) visited in 2009.

Our house in waist-deep (or so) flood, the morning after Typhoon Ondoy hit

I’ve written so many posts about Ondoy in the Refine Me Vault, and it’s really no surprise. Ondoy basically changed our lives. It was the first time it flooded where we lived, and for that first time, the flood reached inside our house, forcing us to evacuate to our neighbor’s house to spend the next two nights. The security we had in our home every time a typhoon hits the country is gone. I find myself watching for every typhoon, making sure all important things are elevated, and praying everyday that there wouldn’t be any more floods.

I knew the only way I could get rid of those fears is if we would have a second floor. I was scared to find out one day that I wouldn’t be able to go home because it was flooded again in the house. I can still remember all the days we spent cleaning, how my dad had to wash so many clothes, how my brother and I had to wash and clean plates and photos, how my mom stayed up way past the time she normally stays up just washing and cleaning all our flood-damaged things. It was hard, and even if I know we were luckier than the other people, I can’t help but feel bad about what happened.

Typhoon season in 2010 came, and our house remained the same. I can still remember how many times I checked weather sites and watched for every typhoon, everyday praying for us to be spared. I remember feeling the despair when my parents couldn’t find a contractor that would fit our budget. I remember the stress of everything, knowing that my brother’s wedding is coming up on top of us worrying if we will be able to have our house renovated.

But you know what? God is faithful. I remember one day when I felt a sense of peace as I prayed. I’d like to believe that it wasn’t just me, that God was really telling me He won’t let another Ondoy happen last year because my brother is getting married. It seems silly, I know, but I held onto that, and true enough, nothing happened.

But there was more: as my brother’s wedding drew near, my parents started meeting with contractors that fit the budget and made really good plans for our house. I wasn’t really involved with it so I wasn’t sure with how it progressed, until right after my brother’s wedding, my parents started packing our things. My mom’s friend let us rent their apartment at the end of our street, and pretty soon, we were moving all our things to the tiny apartment and construction started.

That was five months ago.

This is Your Life

March 31, 2011April 2, 2011 Tina Leave a comment

Also known as: More birthday realizations

So it’s the last day of March. I always feel sad when my favorite month is ending because…well, it’s my favorite month. But I also feel hopeful, because the end of March means it’s April, and April means summer, at least where I live. And despite the heat in Manila, I love summer. So yeah, March then summer? Not too bad.

Ever since that conversation with my college friends early in January, turning twenty-five has become somewhat of a big deal for me. The age itself is already a big thing, I know, but hearing from a trusted friend that major decisions in life usually come at that age…well, it’s become even more. I wish I could have prepared more for turning 25, but unfortunately, I didn’t. By prepare, I mean write journal entries, reflect and all that, but as always, work got in the way. What’s new?

My 24th year, in retrospect

It’s strange, because like my 2010, it’s kind of hard to remember. This is strange for me, because people know me as the human calendar when I was younger. But maybe, growing up stopped me from doing that — remembering every single detail. Instead, the moments blend together, moving from minutes to days to months that they just look like one big and beautiful mess. Not that I mind — life’s messy, anyway, and I know it’s not over yet.

I’d like to believe that my 24th year served to be a year where I learned how to accept changes and work with them instead of hiding from them. I had to laugh at my birthday entry last year — I was so optimistic. Not that I’m more negative this year, but you know, it’s just nice to know that what I wrote last year still rings pretty true to how I felt at the turn of my year.

So it was changes. I said I would be more open to them. In a way, I guess I am, and I’d like to believe I know more about myself and what I want (well, sort of). I know I have a great family and I have awesome friends. I know what I need to do to be okay and bounce back in the face of something bad happening.

I have been humbled so many times, and I realize again and again that I have a good God. He is good. Sometimes, even if I believe in Him, I forget that He is good. Remembering that, learning that again, taught me to trust in Him more. I still fail so many times, but I’m trying. And that’s the point, right?

My 24th year wasn’t that loud, just like my 2010 was. It went by quietly, but still beautiful in its own way. And I can’t really ask for more. :)

Hello, Twenty-Five

My 24th year’s theme song was obviously, Twenty Four by Switchfoot. As I turned 25 this year, I was thinking of what song I could use for this year. It’s not a requirement, but it’s always nice to have one, you know?

And I got it. Another one from Switchfoot.