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Centennial

June 16, 2011June 16, 2011 Tina 1 Comment

Also known as: Celebrating two centennial celebrations

Today I join two communities in celebrating 100 years of existence. :)

Today De La Salle University celebrates its 100 year presence in the Philippines. DLSU has always been my dream college in high school. Despite the distance, the school system and all the failed grades I got (just 3, anyway) there, I know I spent four of my best years in the green halls of Taft. :) I’m proud to be a Lasallian. Too bad I wo’t be able to go to the celebration tonight because of work, and I didn’t get to wear green. I am wearing a green bracelet though — the sentiment counts? :)

There were times when I wondered if I should have chosen another path back in college, like a different school (since I did pass the top 3 universities), but I know I wouldn’t be who I am now if it wasn’t for my Lasallian education. And I’m happy with who I am now. :) Like what that song said, “If I were to live my whole life again, I’d still want to be a Lasallista pa din.” Green and proud!

DLSU 1 — Animo La Salle! Live Jesus in our hearts, forever. :)

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And then, what do you know, the company I’m working for is also celebrating its centennial year today!

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Community

June 12, 2011June 12, 2011 Tina 8 Comments

Also known as: On Missing Community

A few days ago, I had to go to a World Youth Day pilgrims meeting at the new head office of the Catholic community I’m a part of. Or maybe I should say, was a part of, because even if I am still a member, I haven’t been attending any gatherings in the past…oh, three years? You see, once you’re in the community, you’re a member forever. You can disappear, but you can be a member by name.

community01 — YFC International Leaders Conference Bacolod, 1999. Spot the girl with the dorky round glasses. :P

So anyway, it’s been ages since I last attended. I haven’t been showing up because I was busy with work, and honestly, I felt like I’ve outgrown it. See, I grew up in community — I was a member of the Catholic community my parents belonged to since I was a kid. My parents, being community elders by then, attended all sorts of elder events, dragging me along. Being the youngest, I sort of had no choice but to go and do what they say (my older brother was cut a bit of slack there). So from being in the kids ministry, I joined the youth, and…that really made my life different.

I loved being in community. It was my second home, and I met most of my closest and best friends there. Not to mention that being in community brought me closer to God, which is the real point of being in one. I wouldn’t be who I am, I wouldn’t be able to do what I do now if I didn’t spend all those years with them. Truth be told, I thought that I wouldn’t get tired of it, especially after that one year I took a break. I seriously thought I would even be working as a full time missionary, if not for the discernment and decision that led me to the corporate world.

But that doesn’t mean corporate world and community didn’t mix. Other people manage, so why didn’t I? Why couldn’t I?

Pack up and move on

June 11, 2011June 11, 2011 Tina 3 Comments

Also known as: On being okay

I was talking to a friend earlier and she told me about how things turned south with this guy she was pseudo-dating ((“Pseudo”, they never got to the point of defining the relationship)). She has been increasingly annoyed at how the guy was always late when they’d meet up, or how he’d send her a message at weird times, or how he would cancel their plans (or pseudo-dates). I feel her frustration, because I hate those things too. But still, I told her to chill and relax, and see where this thing goes — why throw a possibility away, right? Then just recently, the guy invited her to go with him to his place. Hello, deal breaker.

Of course, the guy could have been just friendly, you know? It could be a totally innocent invitation to get to know my friend. But still…he could get to know her outside, you know. Why allow yourself to get into temptation?

So that was the end of that guy for her. We were talking and I told her, it’s time to “pack up and move on”. While it was good while it lasted, it was time to move on. There are and will be other guys out there.

That sounded like such a flippant answer, don’t you think? Pack up and move on, there are other guys out there. How sure am i about that?

I’m not. But just recently, I was talking to another friend of mine, and we were talking about our “non-relationships”. You know, those sort-of-relationships that were never really anything because it always falls apart before it even becomes anything. The “looks like it’s there, but there’s nothing at all” things we get ourselves into. Admit it — we’ve all fallen into that…thing. And even if nothing really happened and I’m sure the pain from the fallout of these non-relationships is nothing like a break-up, it still hurts like [insert a comparison here — feel free to be as explicit as you want]. Unanswered questions, unrequited love. It hurts, and sometimes it feels like it’s the end of the world.

Sounds exaggerated? Tell that to someone who’s never been in a relationship in his/her life, to someone who’s been hoping and waiting and praying, to someone who’s decided to risk his/her heart and end up getting crushed. It may not match the pain of a break-up ((I don’t know how it feels, so I can’t answer that really)), but it hurts.

But I digress. Like I said, I was talking to a friend, and I told her an epiphany I had a few months back:

You get to a point in your life when things with a certain someone don’t work out, you know you’ll be okay. It will hurt, yes, but you know you’ll be okay. You can move on. You’ll bounce back. And you won’t be (that) bitter. And you know that somewhere down the road, there will be someone else. And maybe it will work out with them. But if it doesn’t, then you’ll still be okay.

I find this epiphany really empowering, because in my case, I know it’s true. I can feel it in my bones, in my heart. I know I am capable of moving on. I can’t do it alone, of course, but I know it will be okay. I will be okay. This doesn’t excuse me from stupid decisions, but it gives me a chance to destroy my walls (somewhat) and gives me a bit more freedom to take a risk. Not only in love, but life in general. It will probably hurt sometimes, it will be definitely messy, and it will suck sometimes, but I’d like to believe it’s worth it. It will make me a better person.