2012 – Page 4 – tinamats.com

Thank you, October

November 1, 2012November 1, 2012 Tina 4 Comments

Also known as: A little thank you. And a cute sunflower. :)

October was…crazy. Crazy busy. I wanted to blog more, really, but in the past month, I’ve come home from work just wanting to sleep, and not even read much or write. I find it funny how there were so many things that seemed to spill over from September to October, just how July spilled over to August and August to September. Ah, everything’s connected for real, I guess.

But…October has been nice, too, despite all the craziness. I know, it’s strange. But I’m really not complaining.

I know this is utterly cheesy, but if you would ask me how my heart is this month…I would use that sunflower photo above. No, I do not have a sunflower for a heart. Remember how I said that sunflowers are my favorite flowers because they’re really awesome and cheerful and they follow the sun? My heart feels like that now — like it’s…bursting. With light. And it’s looking at the sun, even if it’s night time.

I don’t know if that made sense. But allow me to be cryptic on my blog for now.

So. If you were a part of my October…thank you. If I saw you in the past month or talked to you, or we did something together or something like that, then this post is for you. :) Thank you for making my raging October brighter. Despite all the stress, despite the lack of sleep and despite everything that has happened to me and will happen, I will always remember all those bright moments in the past month and keep them in my heart. :)

Happy November, everyone. :)

Even the Winter

October 5, 2012October 5, 2012 Tina 6 Comments

Also known as: On holding patterns
Title credit: Audrey Assad’s “Even the Winter”

What if we find ourselves beneath the snow?
Our warmest words all frozen in our throats
and all we feel is left out in the cold,
You and I?

I was listening to a podcast from a friend a few months ago, and there was a part there where they discussed holding patterns. I’ve heard of holding patterns back in college and I thought it was really just a term coined for some kind of spiritual down time or struggle. I was surprised to know that it was an actual technical term related to aviation. From Wikipedia:

The primary use of a holding pattern is delaying aircraft that have arrived at their destination but cannot land yet because of traffic congestion, poor weather, or runway unavailability (for instance, during snow removal). Several aircraft may fly the same holding pattern at the same time, separated vertically by 1,000 feet or more.

So it turns out, a holding pattern is what the planes follow when we are at your destination, but can’t land just yet because there’s something down there. So your plane goes around. And around. And around. And you’re just very, very antsy and you want to yell at the pilot to just land the freaking plane so you can disembark and go home and rest. Or land so you can go to your next flight.

Just land it, darn it.

But it’s not like we can do anything about it, right?

The other Holding Pattern

Do you remember the very first week of September?

September 14, 2012March 1, 2013 Tina 4 Comments

Also known as: The rollercoaster first week of September

September came and well, it kind of knocked me silly.

I was very glad when September came around because August was crazy busy. For one thing, I hardly had any sleep because I kept on changing shifts, so going back to a semi-normal shift was a very welcome thing. It wasn’t a bad month, per se, except that it had a lot of…changes that I had to deal with for the first time, coming from the previous month. I think August was the month where I had the most entry drafts here but most of them didn’t get past and posted…because…well, I just don’t feel like it should be posted here.

I really don’t want to post something too personal here, despite this being called a personal blog, because…well, I know people I know in real life read this. ((*waves* Hi guys!)) I try to filter the posts here based on what I think too personal or not, especially since I don’t really want to cause friction or anything. Or you know make some things awkward because I wrote something here about something in real life for public consumption. ((A friendly reminder: if you read my blog and we know each other in real life, don’t tell me you read my blog. Or when I tell you something that I’ve written here, pretend you haven’t read it. You know, act surprised. :P))

Which, now, mentioning it, makes me feel awkward. Hrm.

But I digress. When September came, I breathed a sigh of relief because it was finally, finally a new month. I liked new months because it means another beginning. I even started September well — I took the time off to be with myself, pampered myself and you know, just allowed myself to be enjoy my own company. Then the first week came and suddenly, I was all, Wait a minute.

I thought of narrating the events of my first week of September, but then I realized it might break my personal privacy thing. So instead, I’ll just write about the things I learned, because they’re more important than the events itself. So, the first week of September 2012 taught me the following: