brutally honest moment – Page 10

Thrill-Seeker

November 8, 2012November 8, 2012 Tina 1 Comment

Also known as: Physical thrills and emotional thrills — which do I like better? And possibly some signs of aging.

The last few weeks of October were terribly stressful that it came to a point that I was more excited to going home and sleeping than going out. In fact, I went out one day, thinking, “I’m so excited to go home later and sleep.”

Perhaps I was just very tired and stressed then, but I felt that it was some kind of sign of aging. I used to have a ton of energy whenever I go out, and I can last long until the end of the gimmicks, but now I just get really tired. And I get excited over going to bed and having a full 8-hour sleep (which I rarely get now). Sign of aging? Or maybe maturity? What do you think?

Oh don’t get me wrong. I like being out with friends. I like having exciting times with friends and family. It’s just that I get tired of it more now than I used to.

Which brings me to this point, besides you know, starting to feel signs of aging: I’m not a thrill-seeker.

thrillseeker1 — It would take a lot of convincing for me to do this (I probably won’t). [image from we heart it]

Even the Winter

October 5, 2012October 5, 2012 Tina 6 Comments

Also known as: On holding patterns
Title credit: Audrey Assad’s “Even the Winter”

What if we find ourselves beneath the snow?
Our warmest words all frozen in our throats
and all we feel is left out in the cold,
You and I?

I was listening to a podcast from a friend a few months ago, and there was a part there where they discussed holding patterns. I’ve heard of holding patterns back in college and I thought it was really just a term coined for some kind of spiritual down time or struggle. I was surprised to know that it was an actual technical term related to aviation. From Wikipedia:

The primary use of a holding pattern is delaying aircraft that have arrived at their destination but cannot land yet because of traffic congestion, poor weather, or runway unavailability (for instance, during snow removal). Several aircraft may fly the same holding pattern at the same time, separated vertically by 1,000 feet or more.

So it turns out, a holding pattern is what the planes follow when we are at your destination, but can’t land just yet because there’s something down there. So your plane goes around. And around. And around. And you’re just very, very antsy and you want to yell at the pilot to just land the freaking plane so you can disembark and go home and rest. Or land so you can go to your next flight.

Just land it, darn it.

But it’s not like we can do anything about it, right?

The other Holding Pattern

Beautiful

September 19, 2012September 19, 2012 Tina 11 Comments

Also known as: On beauty, and being beautiful. This is probably a very vain post.
Note: If you were in one of the photos below, I apologize for the embarrassment of unearthing old photos. ^^

“You know I never really felt pretty until now.”

Perhaps it was the alcohol speaking. The words just came out while my friends and I were discussing things, and it was the first time I admitted that thought out loud where people were listening to me.

I backtracked a bit to clarify. “I never felt…you know, beautiful. Until now. After I’ve lost weight. And fixed myself a bit.” Oops. It didn’t turn out to be a clarification, but a confirmation of sorts. Oh well.

tumblr_majglej3SB1rc2phzo1_500_large — Image from we heart it

Back in college, when I was active with in my Catholic youth community, I attended several talks about femininity and being a true woman. I was told that I was a princess, that I am beautiful and I should love myself the way I am. Because God loves me. And that should be enough. I really and truly believed all that…

…but.