Tag: delight

That one place

Tina 1 Comment

I was deep into making an Osaka-Kyoto itinerary the other day for our upcoming Japan trip this May when I realized that I was actually falling in like with the country during my research. I’ve always been curious about Japan, but I’m not one of those people who just really want to go there. I mean, sure, there was a time when I liked my share of anime, and I tried to learn some Japanese words, but those faded away, and I didn’t really put Japan in the places I really must go to.

Then my friends booked us a flight, and as with almost all my travels, I just went, Hey, why not? Let’s go. 

So there. I started planning an itinerary so we had options, and as I did my research, the excitement grew. I know nothing about the country except for what my friends who have been there told me, and as I read and read and read and figured out their train systems (I loooove trains) so we could get from one point to another, I started looking forward to it. So much that I was already thinking that I would probably go back, just so I could go and experience the other things we might miss.

And then I started thinking about how some people I know have that one place. You know, the one place they keep on going back to, the one place they would always visit and come back to. It doesn’t have to be another country — it could just be another province — but it’s their place. Their own place, the one that feels like home even if it’s so far away from their real home.

Then I wondered: where is my place?

Image from we heart it, edited by me, words from Kristen Hubbard's Wanderlove
Image from we heart it, edited by me, words from Kristen Hubbard’s Wanderlove

Sometimes it feels like I’m so late in the game, especially since I know of younger people who really pursue their passion to travel. It’s not that I’m really old, or that I didn’t travel when I was younger. I mean, if there’s any time that’s easier to travel, it’s now, with all the seat sales and travel blogs and such. It’s just that sometimes, I feel that maybe I should have started a few more years back — perhaps when I started at my first job or something like that. Which wasn’t really that feasible, now that I think about it, because I didn’t earn much back then. I only get to travel now because my job pays me well. I just wish that I could have been to other countries and places when I was 23, 24. That I was brave enough to go on my own, or that I could have dragged friends and family to go with me wherever back then.

But then again…it’s never too late, right?

Ramble, ramble. My point is, I want to have my place, too. That place where I would always go to, the one that feels like home even if I didn’t grow up there. The one I would always return to, and the one that would be my default place to travel whenever I feel the itch to go and still be amazed at the new things I discover despite the number of times I’ve been there. I want to have that.

I wonder where it is. That place. My place. Could it be in Japan? Could it be Thailand, or Cambodia? (Hello, October Indochina trip! Thank you, Cebu Pacific seat sale! :D) Australia? NYC, perhaps? (Haha, why not. :P) Or maybe it is in Europe? (Oh, I would go back in a heartbeat, if I can!)

Or maybe it’s just in the next province? Palawan? Batanes? Davao? Ilocos? Dumaguete?

Hmm. I guess the only way I’ll find out is if I go there. :)

Nostalgia’s a bitch

Tina 1 Comment

It happened again on a Tuesday. I was at mass, and as I knelt down to pray after receiving communion, some sort of movie reel started playing in my head. Or maybe the more accurate term is movie clips, because they were different scenes from a certain time in my life, one that I really didn’t want to remember that time. (Or anytime, really.)

As I walked back to the office after the mass, I tried to think of other things to stop the movie reel of memories from playing. But when that proved to be a bit futile, I sighed and muttered, “Nostalgia’s such a bitch.”

I have a sharp long-term memory. I remember small moments – as in really small moments – so randomly, sometimes, that I think it freaks others out because they cannot remember the things I was talking about. But I remember them, and if it was a happy moment, I keep it. I used to write about it (and a friend told me that’s why I remember most of it), but later as I grew up, I didn’t have to write about it. I just remember it. I keep it, and it seeps into me, and I remember it, remember it, over and over again.

So much that sometimes, those memories feel a lot like reality.

And when your memories are happy, it’s fun to relive them, and maybe even hope that those memories happen again.

But things happen, and life changes. No matter how happy those memories are, they turn bitter when you know that they can never happen again.

Nostalgia can be such a bitch.

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Twenty Eight

Tina 3 Comments

Hello, I’m 28 today.

In the previous years, I usually start the countdown to my birthday a month before, and I make birthday plans as early as that. This year, I didn’t have a count down (a public one, anyway, because in my head, I was counting down) and I didn’t really make too many plans that early. When I made plans, they weren’t super grand ones. They were smaller, quiet ones that I looked forward to, and am looking forward to quietly.

Perhaps this is the effect of one of my wishes from last year: to be more settled, to be grounded. Granted, my 27th year was a year full of tremors and shocks, so God knows how much I need to be settled this time around. But it feels like there’s more to that. Maybe this is me learning to not just enter the silence, but to truly enjoy and embrace it, every now and then. To let the silence and stillness seep into the crevices of my heart, the parts that ached for it so much over the last few months. Maybe I’m learning that silence is golden. Maybe, I’m finally realizing that God is truly present in the silence, and finding myself in Him is the only way for me to see my life unfold. :)

28

Earlier today, I went to mass, and while I was praying after communion, I felt something light up inside me. The last time I felt this was after the SFC International Conference in Cagayan de Oro, a month ago. I sat there, and smiled, and I knew for a fact that God was taking delight in me. He was happy, He is happy because of me. Not because I was in church, or because I was doing something good (although I know He is happy because of those things, too)…but because God was just simply delighted in me.

What an amazing thing, to be loved and delighted in by the King. :)

It took me a long while to really understand this and feel this and claim it, and now I am trying my best to truly live it: I am worthy, I am loved, because God called me by name, and I am His. :)

Thank you to everyone who made my 27th year an amazing journey, and thank you to everyone who remembered this day. :) You are a blessing, and I am truly, truly grateful for you. ♥ I wish you joy and love, always. :)