growing up – Page 7 – tinamats.com

Relax

August 24, 2012June 17, 2013 Tina 5 Comments

Also known as: On relaxing. And…chilling out

I have a problem with my mind sometimes: it runs too fast.

I wonder if it’s possible to invent something that could turn off certain parts of the brain the moment it starts to over think. I swear I’ll be the first one to get that.

* * *

Sometime two weeks ago I had a legit asthma attack because of stress. It wasn’t even the kind of work-related stress, which was a good and lovely and valid reason if you ask me. It was something a lot more…shallow. And really unnecessary because I brought the stress upon myself, and when things finally cleared later on, it was all for nothing.

I was so annoyed at myself then. I hated how the moment I saw that cause of stress, my mind went a mile a minute, leaving me scrambling behind and unable to catch it. I went from Point A to Point…I don’t know, S? in a matter of seconds. And what I thought, I cannot un-think. It was just so annoying because I just totally stressed myself out.

It sucks.

And with that stress, comes some kind of fear. The one that stops me cold, and just made me wish that I could burrow somewhere and hide, because I don’t think I can handle it if my fears were true, and I wasn’t even sure what exactly I was afraid of. No wonder I got an asthma attack.

With that, my friends usually tell me one thing:

Relax.

Of course…it takes me a while to do that.

The Question that Matters

August 7, 2012August 8, 2012 Tina 2 Comments

Also known as: Because I need this reminder ~~until further notice~~

When I started staying in the dorm back in college, I experienced what my college friends and I called “liberating moments”. I was an achiever back in high school, so getting good grades were pretty easy, but in college it became ten times harder so I became one of your average Janes as far as grades are concerned. I managed to keep my head above water during my first two years. Sure, I had two failing marks, but they were because the subjects were just so difficult. Then I started dorming and I noticed that I seemed to care less about my studies and more about org stuff and fun times.

Then I saw my midterm grade for Biology, a minor subject — it was a failing mark. And it shook me out of my liberating moment. So, in an effort to get serious, I decided to hang some signs at the dorm that said: I LOVE BIO. Then on my laptop, I switched the wallpaper from something cutesy to a black, plain one that states: MAG-ARAL KA. ((Translation: YOU SHOULD STUDY. Or better yet, STUDY NOW.))

I think it worked, because I passed Bio. The next term I switched to another wallpaper, this time it said,I’m too blessed to be stressed, because I had too many activities ongoing for me then.

So, after that long introduction, I realize that I should do something like that now so I would remember the One question that I really need to answer now:

Do you trust Me?

Words, words, words

July 17, 2012July 17, 2012 Tina 6 Comments

Also known as: Some musings on my passion for words

Last Saturday, I was invited to join Bronze Age Media‘s Author At Once Part 2 workshop to be a part of the panel. The workshop was about how budding authors can market their novels, and I was there to speak for the book bloggers and book club members. I came there without preparation, as usual (by preparation, I meant a presentation, outline, etc), save for the things I know, which is kind of how I have been doing things lately. ((I realize that’s not really a good way to go all the time…but that’s for another post)) It was a very productive afternoon, and I stayed longer than I intended, partly because I was sitting at the other end of the room and leaving would be quite disturbing for everyone especially while someone was talking and because it was a very interesting workshop, even if I have no novel to start marketing (not anytime soon, anyway).

Anyway, the afternoon reminded me of some things that I really kind of know about myself, mainly this: I love words. It’s no secret, with how much I talk and how much I read and write. I mean, I even like lyrics more than the music whenever I listen to songs! There is nothing like words strung together in the right way to give me a little thrill. It’s like…when I see a beautiful sunrise/sunset (depends on my shift :D), or when I hear from a friend that I haven’t heard from a long time — there’s a flutter in my heart that tells me: I am made for this.