Tag: singlehood

Law of Attraction

Tina 4 Comments

Also known as: The Law of Attraction…and some thoughts

A couple of weeks ago, a colleague asked me if she could borrow an extra bookmark. Being the reader that I am, I should have a bunch of bookmarks in my bag, but that day, I didn’t have any extra. Turns out she was reading The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. I have never read that book nor even had the desire to read it, because as I told my best friend, “Isn’t The Secret a fancier way of saying you should think positive?”

Later on my colleague started telling me about how she got married, and she mentioned something about thinking about how her husband proposed to her. She told me that they weren’t really talking about it, but she was thinking about it, about getting married and all that. Sometime later, her then-boyfriend proposes. Wedding bells.

That still didn’t make me interested in reading the book since I’m not much into non-fiction or self-help books anymore. We did have a short discussion after she told me about that, though, about how we attract the things we think or declare we want. Things turned to a bit an uncomfortable road as we sort of touched on my love life (or lack of it), and then that got me thinking.

So it’s all about the Law of Attraction. If you think, or declare what you want, it will come to you. I’ve always believed in the power of declaring things and of course, praying for things, but I never really thought about that law. It wasn’t until we talked about it that I got thinking. Do I believe that as well? Maybe that’s why I don’t have the things that I want, or been waiting for, because I haven’t been thinking about it. Or, maybe because I’m expecting that I won’t get it. Maybe that’s why I didn’t get to go to Australia years ago. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t lose that last 10 lbs. And maybe, maybe that’s why I’m still single.

Truth be told, what I just wrote there sounded like…well, crap. I feel like I’m blaming not just myself but the universe for not giving me the things I want, right now. Or at least, sometime soon.

I’m not saying that it’s not true. I’m just having a hard time grasping the idea. I know I’m not the most assertive person around. I tend to take a step back and I often feel bad whenever I receive something that I feel like I don’t deserve. I work with my own set of expectations (which is really not a good thing, IMHO), and when I don’t get what I want just yet, I just think, “It’s not for me.” Or, “It’s not yet time.”

But what if I’ve inadvertently shunned away those things because I think that way? What if because I always thought I wasn’t ready or that I didn’t deserve any of those things?

But when can you say that you’re 100% ready? Isn’t that just a state of mind, and you’ll never really know when you’re ready for it until you actually take the leap?

And what do I know about deserving things? Who am I to limit myself and all that? Who am I to put a cap on the blessings that God gives to say when I’m deserving of something?

I ask too many questions, I know. And I know I am probably over thinking this entire thing. It just made me wonder if I am somehow limiting myself and what I can have and what I can give and what I can achieve by the way I think.

And, yes a part of me can’t help but wonder if maybe if I think differently about my love life, like if I didn’t think it’s such a taboo topic sometimes, then maybe…maybe I would not still be waiting. You know?

But I think a part of me is also afraid to find out that even with all that claiming, all that believing, all that attempt to attract…and I still end up with nothing.

Now that is over thinking. And kind of depressing. But still.

Really?

I think I still need a little more time to think about these things.

But didn’t God say, “Ask”?

Maybe I need to shift my thoughts a little, you know. Maybe, instead of thinking about the Law of Attraction, I could focus on something that I know is a more sure foundation. You know, like what Jesus says in Mark 11:24:

Therefore, I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it shall be done for you.

So, what about you? Any thoughts?

What do you say to taking chances?

Tina 2 Comments

Also known as: The late Valentine’s Post

I meant to post this earlier, but work ate up my time and by the time I get home, I’m too tired to open any of my computers and all I want to do is read and rest. The rest of the week flew by in a blur, too, and honestly, I just wanted to sit and read, which I have been doing all weekend (instead of cleaning my closet, oops!). I apologize.

But before anything else: belated happy Valentine’s day! :)

Thanks, Dodge! :)

Here’s the one most important thing I learned from this year’s Valentine’s day: if you ask, it will come. Or, to use Jesus’ words, ask and it will be given to you.

It’s funny because I realized I never really asked because it sounds desperate. Especially on Valentine’s Day, when I’ve always had some kind of bitter streak going up until I decided not to be bitter (I’ve told the story here). But even so, I never asked. I figured a really good guy should know to get flowers (or something) for girls, particularly his colleagues if he’s a part of a team. It’s just the nice thing to do, right?

Wrong. Expectations, much? While it’s not necessarily bad to want gifts, sometimes people can just be…clueless. Particularly guys who are not really in love with his girl friend. And knowing guys, they probably forgot that it was the 14th.

So I asked. There’s nothing wrong with asking. I think there’s something really humbling about asking. I’m not the type of person who asks much. As much as I don’t ask questions, I also don’t usually ask for help unless I really, really need it. Asking, whether it’s for material things or help, reminds me to be connected to other people, even if it’s  just through a blog or a tweet. Asking reminds me that I can’t make it here in this world alone, and I need other people. And asking also shows that other people need you too, in their way of responding to you, and to see you happy makes them happy, too.

To make the long story short, I got what I asked. Welcoming me at work was a red balloon from Earl the Pearl, and my email inbox received that sunflower image from Dodge. I had a fun lunch date with my teammates (OMG Thai food ♥), got an awesome, awesome gift from one of my favorite authors, got myself flour-less chocolate brownie from Starbucks, and was surprised by my brother and sister-in-law with a balloon bouquet. My brother and sister-in-law dropped me home, too, and that just really topped my day. :) Valentine’s Day almost felt like it was my birthday with all the excitement and surprises. All I could think of at the end of the day was Thank You, Lord.

Because that’s really where it ends, you know? Where it ends and where it begins. At the end of the day, I’d like to believe that God was happy because I was happy. I can’t remember where I read it, but I know that God takes pleasure in answering our prayers. And Valentine’s Day proved that to me, for the umpteenth time in my life. :)

* * *

I was reading my Valentine’s Day entries in the past years and I just had to laugh. I alternate between bitter to jaded to sometimes maybe sickeningly hopeful and optimistic. It’s kind of fun to see how different I was every year, and it’s made me think of what will make this year different than the others.

I was listening to Boundless Podcast # 159 the weekend before Valentine’s Day and I had to laugh at how much I can relate. In the past years, I stuck to the “waiting” and encouraging myself on the waiting because I know I’m not yet ready. I know that as much as I think being in a relationship may be sweet, I don’t really want it just yet. Last year I learned how to be alone and be happy. This year, as Valentine’s Day rolled around, I wondered what could I learn from this year’s Valentine’s Day ((Yes, I am kind of crazy like that — I like making resolutions and realizations from even the most inane “holidays”)).

How about taking chances?

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I want to hold your hand

Tina 2 Comments

Also known as: A mushy post on love and hand holding

Whenever I am commuting, I tend to observe people as much as I can as I walk. There comes a time in all this observing that I find myself watching out for couples, watching for how the guy treats the girl or how the girl holds on to her guy. Mostly, though, I look at how they hold each other’s hands. There’s something just so comfortable In seeing couples holding hands. Sometimes with swinging ((In short, HHWWPSSP – Holding hands while walking, pa-sway-sway pa)). An outward declaration of love, if you may, that isn’t as uncomfortable as seeing them kiss in public.

Maybe it’s the influence of that part in Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist when one of Nick’s friends tell him that The Beatles got it right about love that makes me observe that. Wait, let me quote it for you instead (pardon the language, though):

You know the reason The Beatles made it so big?…‘I Wanna Hold Your Hand.‘ First single. F*cking brilliant. Perhaps the most f*cking brilliant song ever written. Because they nailed it. That’s what everyone wants. Not 24/7 hot wet sex. Not a marriage that lasts a hundred years. Not a Porsche…or a million-dollar crib. No. They wanna hold your hand. They have such a feeling that they can’t hide. Every single successful song of the past fifty years can be traced back to ‘I Wanna Hold Your Hand.’ And every single successful love story has those unbearable and unbearably exciting moments of hand-holding.

I have no experience to speak of, of course. Except maybe for that dream I had one time…but that was just a dream. What do I know, right?

There was a time when my family and I were in Hong Kong. It was the first time my now sister-in-law joined us on a trip outside the country. We were walking down one road in the city when my brother took his then-girlfriend’s hand in his and walked ahead of me. I looked behind me and saw my parents doing the same thing. Two couples, lost in their own reveries, and I was there, right smack in the middle of it all.

I remember whenever I would recall this particular anecdote with other friends, I’d end the story with a laugh and tell them I did this:

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