Month: February 2013

Filled

Tina 2 Comments

On the second night of the 20th SFC International Conference, I had an amazing epiphany that kind of blew me away:

I’m not empty.

One of the talks on the second night of the conference was about Emptiness, and truth be told, I was kind of expecting to be a blubbering mess by then. Or maybe not a blubbering mess, exactly, but I expected that I would shed some tears over the things that will happen on the second night, just like how I was sort of crying during the worship and session on the first night. I used to think the sign of tears is when God talks to me during conferences, so I got myself ready for the second night.

But instead of a cry-fest, I got that. I listened to the talk, took notes and then marveled as that realization dawned on me.

I’m not empty.

Not anymore.

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Terimah kasih, Jakarta!

Tina 4 Comments

When our hosts in Jakarta asked us about what we expected about the place and what we wanted to do, I had no idea what to answer. Not just because I’m not a fan of expectations, but it’s really because I had none. Other than this being a surprise trip, I didn’t really do much research about it. I didn’t have time to do research, actually, plus even if I am good with organizing things, I’m not that good with fixing itineraries just yet.

So I really, really had no expectations whatsoever. And it turned out to be a really, really awesome thing. :)

Jakarta was nice and warm and lovely. That’s what I say when people ask me about my trip. It really is, and of course, the people I met while I was there really helped seal that impression. Jakarta reminded me of Manila in several ways, but it’s bigger, cleaner and interestingly, had more traffic. But that was because they have no train system (boo-hoo, and I like trains), so there’s really just more cars on the road.

It was a very lovely trip — full with activities and food and laughter and new friends. It’s nice to go on a trip with very little expectations because you get so surprised about so many things along the way. ((Come to think of it, this applies to everything in my life.)) :)

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Not Quite that Valentine’s Post I Wanted to Write

Tina 6 Comments
Image from we heart it
Image from we heart it

So I’ve been trying to wrap my mind around today, at this loss for words that rarely happens. I’ve been trying to prepare myself to write another Valentine’s Day entry reminiscent of last year’s (which is a favorite among many), but…there’s nothing. For the first time in the longest time, I don’t know what to write today.

I was whining about this to my best friend yesterday and she said, “Then don’t write anything.” But it’s like…I can’t. Especially now that I’m trying to embrace my inner romantic, so much that I’m trying to write a romance novel(la) this year and moderating a romantic short story/book discussion in our book club. I’m trying not to fear being vulnerable and I’m trying to love fiercely and freely, because that’s what brave hearts do, right?

But…nada. I can’t think of anything.

Or maybe I just feel that I’ve written about love (what I know of it, anyway) so many times here that I feel like whatever I write now is redundant. But is it? I mean, will we ever run out of words to use when talking about love?

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